Healthy Eating and Living

My 2008 New Years Resolution…

How to be happy by thinking positively.

After getting into an argument with my husband this morning about taking out the trash (his complaint is that I’m too controlling and nag too much. My complaint is that he just doesn’t want to be bothered, and why can’t he just do something kind for me without complaining?)
Anyway, after giving it much thought I realized something. We rarely ever do something for each other soley out of the kindness of our hearts if it’s going to be a burden to us in some way.
Does that make sense?
I’m sure we do things for each other. I know we do. But when we do it, what are we trying to get out of it for ourselves? Do we even realize our own self servingness?
I’ll admit something that I’m ashamed of.

I recently donated to charity.
That should be an act of kindness that burdens me a little as it’s taking money away from me, right?
Yes, right. HOWEVER, when I donated my first thought was, ‘great! I can use this as a tax write-off.’ Hmmmm. Kinda lost its “true act of kindness” virtue, didn’t it.

So, again I ask myself, when is the last time I’ve truly done something kind for someone else that hasn’t directly benefited me in some way?

So, this is where my New Years Resolution comes in.

As of today, January 1st 2008:

I resolve to do at least one act of kindness that does not benefit me in any way.

Simple Ideas:

When my child comes up to me while I’m working and asks to play or show me something I will happily go with him and give him my full attention.

When my husband leaves his dirty socks on the floor or his dirty cup on the table I will gladly pick it up for him without saying a word.

When the person driving in the lane beside me needs to cut over into my lane I will give him a smile and slow down so he can get over.

I will donate to my favorite charity and not worry about a tax write-off.

I think that would make me happy knowing I’m helping someone else.

Oops. I’m being self-serving again. Because actually I am getting something out of all these simple little acts of kindness (that should come naturally anyway), right? Spending time with my children, doing something nice for my husband, being nice to a stranger - if I have the right attitude while doing these things then I’m going to feel happy.

The key here is ATTITUDE. If I’m bitching my husband out while picking up his dirty socks for the 5th time, how is that any better than telling him to pick up his own smelly socks? It’s not. And it’s probably worse, for him and for me because I have a bad attitude and now he’s going to have one too.

Having a positive attitude and thinking in a positive manner will make a world of difference for your physical health, your mind, your thought process, your family life, your marriage, your success - it can literally wipe out the negativity in your life and those around you. There’s Power in having a positive outlook on life, especially in the little day to day stuff that comes your way.

But thinking in a positive, happy manner takes some practice. It’s not just a switch you can turn on without thinking about it (you know, like breathing).

Did you know that most people spend somewhere around 90% of their time thinking negative thoughts - without even realizing it? Just random stuff that goes through your head without even giving it a second thought. Test it out you’ll see what I’m talking about. Later in the day when you’re busy doing whatever it is you do stop a moment and consider what’s on your mind.

“great, it’s raining again. I’m never going to get the yard work done…. how am I going to pay all these bills? we don’t make enough money… I’m so sick of folding clothes… this stupid computer is so slow…”

Sound familiar? Is this you? I know it’s me sometimes. Look how negative these thoughts are! Imagine your day without a thought like this. What if you could stop yourself from thinking in this manner and instead turn these thoughts into positive thoughts?

“great, it’s raining, now I can stay in and watch a movie, maybe get those clothes folded… Thank God for the job I have to pay these bills, maybe I’ll get a raise soon and I’ll buy a new computer!…”

Notice there are no negative thoughts here. Only positive thoughts.

So, how do you turn your negative thinking into positive thinking?

The key is self-awareness.

You need to start practicing becoming aware of your thoughts -every little thought you have, start paying attention and start turning those thoughts around. When you can master this you will have succeeded in having a positive attitude. And, believe me, your life will start to turn around. Good things will start happening, you will feel better, you will be healthier, you will have more success. Don’t believe me? Try it and see what happens.

Maybe I should change my New Years Resolution to:
I Am Happy, I Am Healthy, I Am Successful, I Am Blessed.

Notice I said “I am” instead of “I will be”… think about it.

For more read…. The Power of Positive Habits

… and for a little inspiration, something that’ll make you feel happy, check out this video: